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Everything.". — Unknown. "If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, 'Keep away from children.'". — Susan Savannah. "Most mothers are instinctive philosophers.". — Harriet Beecher Stowe. "Sometimes I open my mouth and my mother comes out.". — Unknown.


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Funny Mother's Day quotes Maybe buy your mom a nice bottle of wine. Because slightly drunk mom is really funny. More Funny Mother's Day quotes: If there ever was a day Mom deserves the bigger half of the cookie, it's today. Do nothing on Mother's Day to remind your mom how bad the delivery was.


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This Mother's Day, share some Mother's Day quotes or sayings to celebrate the moms in your life. Whether you're looking for a funny Mother's Day quote to make your mom laugh or an inspirational Mother's Day quote for the new mom in your circle, here are 18 great options for cards, captions, and posts.


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Like all of the best moms, celebrities like Mindy Kaling, Carrie Underwood and Julia Roberts have learned to find the funny in parenting and motherhood. Check out these funny mom quotes.


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36. "Thank you for giving me all the good genes, like: extreme anxiety, average height and crooked pinkies. Wishing you a Mother's Day full of love and happiness!". 37. "Thanks for wiping my ass and stuff. Happy Mother's Day!". 38. "Thanks for shagging Dad.


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3. "Biology may have created Mothers, but society has perfected them." -Unknown. 4. "A mom's hug lasts long after she lets go.". 5. "The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness." -Honoré de Balzac. 6.


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Bring smile on your mother's face and tell her how much you love, care and respect her on upcoming mothers day. You can write your wishes and best mothers day funny quotes and sayings on greeting cards and give it to your mom. The card that you will send will express your true love and gift with it will give a true meaning of it.


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Funny Mothers Day Quotes. Here are a few Mothers Day quotes we find particularly funny for stashing in Mom's card this year. 14. My nickname is "Mom" but my full name is "Mom Mom Mom Mom Mom" 15. Parenting: if you feel crazy then you're doing it right. 16. I never know what to say when people ask me what my hobbies are.


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Mom, I know you do the dishes. And I know you cook the food. I know you scrub down all the floors. Even when you're in a bad mood. And every night you walk the dog. While I'm watching all my shows. On Thursday's you take out the trash. And every spring you wash the windows. Mom, I know you're sad I'll go someday.


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Funny Mom Quotes for the Sleep-Deprived Mom. "Sleep when the baby sleeps. Fold laundry when the baby folds laundry.". Yep, and cry when the baby cries. It's what all the good moms do from lack of sleep. "Parents complain about not getting enough sleep then stay up late scrolling through Instagram and Zillow. It's me.


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Funny Mothers Day Messages. #1. To my beloved mom, for the long time owner of my heart, soul, and wealth. Rather, in the past month, my salary is double, right? Thank you for being a mother who is so kind to her son.". #2. Mother, like wine, you get so much more fun as time goes by.". #3.


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These funny Mother's Day quotes and sayings are for moms who don't take themselves too seriously! Even the celebrity Moms have challenging parenting moments, resulting in humorous reflections on motherhood. Others are about how amazing moms are and how much they sacrifice for their children.


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These Mother's Day quotes are about what she means to the family in teaching, helping, and encouraging everyone from day to day. "The mother's heart is the child's school-room." —Henry Ward Beecher. "To the world, you are a mother, but to your family, you are the world." —Unknown.


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Rose Nylund, The Golden Girls. "My mother used to say: the older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana.". Woman's Day. 5.


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1. "The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found." - Calvin Trillin. PureWow. 2. "When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out."


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Inspiring Mother's Day quotes. 26. "I remember my mother's prayers, and they have always followed me. They have clung to me all my life." —Abraham Lincoln. 27. "As is the mother, so is.